Burning Bridges-- But in a Good Way

Burning your bridges is usually a bad thing, but it's important to end relationships (personal or professional) when you need to. I've been burning some bridges lately and it's been very positive. Burning might be a bit too dramatic a term for it-- maybe more like warming on low heat under careful supervision and after a considered decision.

The first bridge I undid was professional. I'd tentatively accepted a part-time job on the side for next year that, upon closer reflection, I realised I had no desire at all to do. Rather than spending time and energy on commuting (the weekly commute would have been as long as my single class there), preparation, grading, stress, etc., I realize that my energy resources are limited and I'd really prefer to put them towards my current job and ultimately towards trying to find a non-teaching job in Paris. There MUST be other things bilingual folks can do here. This year, I'm determined to identify some, such as translation or editing, and ultimately change fields.

The second bridge I demolished (yes, this one gets a more dramatic verb) was personal. I ended a possible relationship that was more or less over but threatened to start up again. In French, ending all contact is called "couper les ponts" (cutting, not burning bridges). My bridge-cutting was met with understanding, if also some defensive complaining, but ultimately, the once troubled water under the pont coupé ran smoothly, quietly and undisturbed again. On both sides of the river, I think.

I live along a canal surrounded by bridges. I myself am often a bridge between cultures. The last French guy I met, for example, asked me about all kinds of American stereotypes. There's obviously a lot to be said for building relationships-- we more or less devote our lives to trying to create meaningful connections with others, but along with this noble endeavor is also the necessity of cutting and burning your bridges when you realise that you don't want to go that direction anymore.