Pas de Grosse Pomme

Some conflicting news of late: I heard last weekend that I didn't get a job I applied for in NYC which would have been a good job. I also heard that I could keep my current job in France another year if I wanted to. In some ways it's not ideal-- mainly the groups are very large and it's a huge challenge to teach a class with 50 students, but class sizes are increasing everywhere and it's definitely a gift in the life of a teacher to be able to teach the same class a second year in a row. Even if class management will still be a challenge, preparation will already be done and my inner perfectionist loves the idea of getting a do-over and I really honestly think my classes (the content, anyway, if not the kids and their motivation level) could be awesome. I could also stay in my side job another year, too, creating online course content at another university and that would be good experience since I love working there.

After feeling like Paris was plotting to make me leave (my last job offer was a terrible unliveable wage, so I didn't take it and it made me just want to ditch the French job market all together), maybe the trend has reversed itself. The path of least resistance is to stay for another year and when you're not sure what to do, maybe resistance is a waste of energy. Just stay put and open your mind.

Something I Didn't Think I'd Say This Year

Feeling strangely optimistic about life in France. So far, 2012 has been surprisingly good. Although it's only been 2 weeks.

No Exit

A wise person said to me once that a lot of life was getting your exit cues right and knowing when to leave a job, a relationship, a country.

The problem is that when you make one of these decisions, you want to leave everything and remember everything else you've ever left, too.

Like poet Gjertrud Schnackenberg once wrote:

Life is a painful stammered-out emphatic
Pronunciation of the word goodbye.