Ups and Downs, Highs and Lows

I don't have a lot to say, just that this week was a bit Dickensian in a very Best of Times, Worst of Times way. I couldn't really focus, spent a lot of time being miserable or pep talking myself out of the house in the morning and not enjoying being on vacation but mainly feeling like an unproductive and sometimes tearful bum. However, I also spent a lot of time seeing friends who really rallied around me and I'm so grateful to have them, training for a personal challenge: a competitive 10K (6 mi) run tomorrow, a new annual tradition for me which I started last year and making some important decisions about life, love and lodging (I'm moving to a way better apartment).

People disappointed me and amazed me this week. This week marked the end of a relationship that had delighted me up until about 3 weeks ago. Goodbye, long term plans with that specific person. Hello, long or short term personal goals instead that don't depend on anyone else...

So clearly, that accounts for the disappointment. The amazement is from the courage and self-awareness of a friend who just came out. My heart really bursts with happiness for him when I think how much more comfortable he’s becoming with himself and how honored I feel that he trusts me with a part of his life that was only deeply private until now.

I wrote about how hell was other people for Jean-Paul Sartre in a previous post. That's a little too simplistic. Heartbreak and joy are other people.